We found the lamp on our way home one day, after I picked up my son, Colton, from his father's house. The glinting sunlight reflected off of it's red-and-black metal surface caught Colton's eye, and he picked up. He thought I might be able to sell it for food money, so I graciously took it into my hands.
When my husband divorced me, he took damn near everything I had. My house, money, car, and Colton himself all passed into his custody, even though HE'S the one that cheated on me. He had the job, so the court decided our son would be better off living with him and his bimbo girlfriend. Seriously, even Colton knew he was smarter than that blonde bitch, and he absolutely hated every second of living with the duo. Unfortunately for him, the court wouldn't take the opinion of a 7-year-old into consideration, so he only got to spend time with his vastly preferred parent for two days every other weekend.
We finally arrived at my apartment, barely paid for by my job at a local convenience store, and Colton and I settled in for a fun night of pizza and board games. Finally, my son reminded me of the lamp we had found.
"Say, Mom, that thing looks kinda like a genie lamp. Maybe if you rub it, a real live genie'll come out!" The kid may have been smart, but he was still a child with a wild imagination. Still, I decided to humor him.
"Who knows?" I started, grabbing the elegant black handle. "Guess we'll never know if we don't try, eh?" I gave the lamp an enthusiastic rub, playing up the act for my child's entertainment.
Imagine my shock, and Colton's excitement, when an actual genie came out of the lamp! He looked like an extremely muscular grey-skinned man, much more intimidating than the 30-year-old woman and 7-year-old boy who had summoned him.
"Greetings, mistress and young master," the genie announced in a loud, booming voice. "You have summoned me from my long slumber. As a reward, you each will be granted one wish."
"Only one? Huh, that's weird..." Colton muttered under his breath, before he practically shouted his wish at the genie. "I wish I could stay with Mom and never have to see Dad again!"
"Hmm..." began the genie, clearly thinking to himself. "What about you, Mistress?"
I thought about it for a few seconds. Colton clearly had this wish in mind for a long time, so my wish had to be good. Finally, I came to a decision. "I wish I could share in everything as Colton grows, without us struggling like I am now." There, that should be fine, right?
Suddenly, the genie broke out in laughter. "Truly unique and selfless wishes, from the both of you!" I really didn't like the tone his voice was taking... "Your wishes are my commands, Mistress and Master." With that, he snapped his fingers, and... to the outside world, a mother and son vanished, completely erased from reality.
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"Come on honey, just a few more pushes!" is how the muffled voice welcomed me to my new existence. My surroundings were dark and slimy, and I felt the fleshy walls slide past me. An unholy screech rang out, becoming less muffled as I slid further along. I felt cool air on the top of my head, and the voice rang out again, much clearer this time. "That's it babe, just one more!" It was a man's voice I was hearing, clearly trying to encourage someone. It sounded like someone was giving birth. Why was I in the vicinity, then?
As I felt a gloved hand cup the top of my head, I became more and more exposed to the air. My skin was moist with... something... and frankly I was freezing. I felt my emotions well up, and against my will, I instinctively started crying.
However, it wasn't the wail of a grown woman. My own infantile shrieking clued me in on what was going on: The genie had forced me into a brand new body, and I had just been born. I had been pushed out of some stranger's vagina, and now I was being wrapped in an incredibly soft pink blanket. I must not have noticed my umbilical cord being cut, since I hadn't opened my eyes yet. The giant blanket soothed my crying, and as I was engulfed in someone's arms - likely my new mother's - I became silent.
I felt something bump against my lips, and my mouth opened itself. I started suckling on instinct, and I tasted the warm breast milk entering my mouth. As I slowly drifted off to a confused sleep, my eyes opened slightly for a fraction of a second, and I saw the dark brown breast I was breastfeeding from. It was more than double the size of my head! My eyes closed again, and I wondered what had happened to Colton as I fell asleep in my new mother's arms.
Waking up some time later, I discovered that I was not, in fact, dreaming. I was clutched in my new mother's arms, and I got a better look at her. She was clearly African-American, her frizzy hair having been pulled into a rough ponytail. The giant woman looked down at me with complete adoration. "How's my little Kiki this morning?" she cooed, informing me of my new name. "Time for breakfast!" She raised me to her bare breast, and I was breastfed once again. Was this really my life now? That of some stranger's newborn daughter, to be coddled and breastfed day after day until I could handle solid food? I was supposed to be an independent woman, not a helpless infant not even a day old! And where was Colton?!
I finally got my answer as I felt my right arm reach around my new mother's breast. 'Wait, I didn't do that...' I thought to myself. Experimentally, I successfully reached out with my left arm, but I couldn't make the right one budge. It was moving of it's own volition, as was my left leg. I thought back to the wishes that Colton and I had made, and suddenly everything made perfect sense.
My right half wasn't just moving on it's own; Colton was the one doing it. In granting our wishes, we had been placed into a single baby girl's body, with control split between us. We couldn't hear each other's thoughts, and our body was prone to acting on instinct, which explained why it took me so long to figure it out. He would stay with me and never have to see his father, and I would share in every experience, all because we were now the same person.
How was Colton feeling about all this? Not only was our new body an infant, but we were also a girl. He must've figured that out by now, with how much of our surroundings were a muted pink color (although only muted because of our own underdeveloped eyes). Had he figured out where I was? And had he thought of what our future would entail?
For the time being, we suckled from our mother's breast. Her milk would be the only sustenance we could handle for a few months. The adults around us would assume we couldn't understand anything they said, unaware of the truth of our situation. A wet feeling on our behind reminded me that we were wearing a diaper, and would be dependent on them for at least a few years.
I had been checked out mentally for a few minutes, but I was shaken out of my reverie when I heard our mother speak up. "Why isn't she moving her left side? It's almost like the two sides are separate... I should probably talk to the doctor about that..."
Oh crap. With our new body under our split control, Colton and I would have to learn how to work together with little-to-no communication between us. How would we learn to walk? Heck, even crawling might be too complicated for us... I started paying more attention, and tried my best to make my movements make sense compared to Colton's. I saw our right arm's motions slow down, telling me he had figured out the same thing.
Our attempts at acting like a single person didn't work. It was obvious something weird was going on, and no amount of effort on our part was going to change that. The doctor figured out that our two sides operated independently, and plans were quickly made to accommodate the odd disability. As 'Mom' and the doctors discussed our future, we laid on our left side on the table. Colton's hand reached for the stuffed rabbit we were given after our first two weeks, and my hand curled into a fist in our mouth. The world saw us as a baby, why should we act like anything different? It was comforting to us, as our bizarre shared life was just beginning...
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